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Stick to Fantasy, Kid
Junior Seau died Wednesday in an apparent suicide. A legendary member of the San Diego Chargers (along with less legendary stints with the Miami Dolphins and New England Patriots) and surefire...
View ArticleZombie Post: Fantasy Football and Babies
Tomorrow night I’ll be attending my fantasy football draft. That is, if the birth of a child doesn’t get in the way. Not my child, though. Not this time. Two years ago, about a month before my son was...
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Overstuffed
When I was a little kid I was obsessed with stuffed animals. I had a ton of them and I couldn’t sleep unless at least one was in the bed with me. Shut up. Nowadays the only stuffed animals we have in...
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Birthday Parlay
I may be a lot of things. I may be 34. I may be a Dolphins fan. I may be the funniest person my wife has ever met. But I am not a pretender. So I’m not gonna sit here and pretend the Fins will make the...
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Like Father (and Mother), Like Son
Parenting isn’t a competition. When it comes to raising kids, comparing how you’re doing to other parents or measuring your kid’s development against others their age is just not a good idea. Children...
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Super Bowl Sunday: 5 Ways My Toddler is Like Ray Lewis
This will be the first Super Bowl my son might actually sit still and watch for a few minutes. (Probably while getting really angry about Beyonce’s lip-synching LIKE THE REST OF US.) It will be the...
View ArticleZombie Post: A Commercial Disappointment
Forgive me for not having the energy to come up with an original post today. The Super Bowl took it out of me. Which is weird, since I was practically napping throughout the entire first half. Then...
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Fantasy Parenting Draft
It’s football season! And you know what that means: it’s fantasy football season! Bore everyone to tears with game recaps! Anger wives and girlfriends by spending too much time doing research! Turn...
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Six Ways Having Kids is Like Not Having Kids
By pure coincidence, I’ve already written two posts this week that have “six” in the title, both uncharacteristically nice (here’s the first one and here’s the second one. I figured I’d make it an even...
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Fanning the Flames?
Now that I have a car (stupid North Carolina), I find myself listening to the radio more than I have in years. Of course, the radio is terrible. So I throw on sports talk. Which is also terrible,...
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Toddlers and Bullies Have a Lot in Common
As both a Miami Dolphins fan and a not-exactly-physically-imposing writer type, I am really torn on this whole bullying scandal. Bullying is deplorable, and, despite being raised in an era (not all...
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Fine. I’ll Give Some Thanks.
I’m not really the thankful type. That’s not to say I’m not thankful for things, I’m just not the kind of guy that runs around telling people what I’m thankful for and how blessed I am. The good thing...
View ArticleZombie Post: Are You Ready for Some Football… Posts?
It’s Super Bowl Sunday and I’m about to start cooking drinking. Is tomorrow a holiday yet because let’s be serious! For today’s Zombie post, I was planning to resurrect an old one about why, even...
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The Most Interested Man in the World
One of the joys of being an adult is the ability to make your own decisions. To decide what you want to do, how you want to spend your time, and who you want to spend it with. And then you have kids,...
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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Vol. 10
Many people don’t like giving advice, but not me. I don’t like giving directions (the only person who has a worse sense of direction than me is Mr. Magoo) but I love giving advice. Especially when it’s...
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Cultural Differences or Child Abuse?
I wouldn’t expect you to understand. If you’re not from here, it must seem alien to you. Around these parts we do things differently, and if you’re not born and raised in this culture, you’re probably...
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Seven Ways Parenting is Like Fantasy Football
I am in the middle of yet another trying fantasy football season. Two of them, actually, since I am participating in two leagues, like some kind of masochist. It’s been 12 weeks of misery, punctuated...
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Saturday Afternoon Lights
I used to live in Boston. I went to school there and loved it, so I stuck around for another 10 years or so. When I eventually left, I lost access to the city’s vibrant sports scene, and my ability to...
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Clean Enough to Eat
I love coffee. I don’t know how you can be a parent and not love coffee. The smell alone is Pavlovian, and a few cups a day are just plain necessary for survival! I also love both the taste and the...
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Friday Night Yikes
A few years ago, I wrote a post in which I declared that my son would never play organized football due to the health risks. When it ran on The Huffington Post this past fall, I got some angry...
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